How To Hang A Cabinet, a personal essay by Todd Levin: “Nothing satisfies quite like home improvement, especially after you’ve ripped the wall out of your bathroom. A short guide to avoiding complete catastrophe.”
“11. Drill a test hole. Upon drilling this test hole, which you decide to make nearly half an inch wide for reasons known only to yourself, you discover why your wall has no studs: The wall, which is only about an inch in thickness, with no insulation between it and a concrete foundation wall two feet away, is made of compressed toilet paper, mud, and wet twigs. You’re about to hang a 40-pound cabinet on a wall as sturdy as warm birthday cake.
“12. Call someone handy. Ask nonspecific questions and receive very specific answers. Sprinkle your conversation with phrases like ‘of course, of course’ and ‘definitely — molly or toggle bolts are the way I’d go.’ Then hang up and rush to your laptop, where you will Google ‘bolts + molly’ or ‘toggle + definition.’“